Have you considered listing all the positive things that happen in your life? ”, My therapist asked me.

I shivered a little at the words of my therapist. Not because I thought gratitude for the good in my life was a bad thing, but because I missed the complexities of everything I was feeling.

I was talking to her about my chronic illnesses and how it affects my depression, and her response was invalid, to say the least.

She was not the first person to suggest this to me, not even the first medical professional. But every time someone suggests positivity as a solution to my pain, it feels like a direct blow to my spirit.

Sitting in his office, I began to wonder: Maybe I need to be more positive about it? Maybe I shouldn't be complaining about these things? Maybe it's not as bad as I think?


Maybe my attitude is making all this worse?

Culture of positivity: because it could be worse, right?
We live in a culture full of positivity.

Among the memes that emit messages destined to rise ("Your life only improves when you improve!" positive.


We are emotional creatures, capable of experiencing a wide range of feelings. However, emotions that are considered preferable (or even acceptable) are much more limited.
Making a happy face and presenting a cheerful disposition to the world, even when you are going through really difficult things, is applauded. People who overcome difficult times with a smile are praised for their courage and courage.

On the contrary, people who express their feelings of frustration, sadness, depression, anger or grief, all very normal parts of the human experience, often receive comments of "could be worse" or "maybe it would help to change their attitude. about it ".

This culture of positivity also moves to assumptions about our health.

They tell us that if we have a good attitude, we will heal faster. Or, if we are sick, it is due to some negativity that we throw into the world and we need to be more aware of our energy.

It becomes our job, as sick people, to improve ourselves through our positivity, or at least have a perpetually good attitude about the things we are going through, even if that means hiding what we really feel.

I admit that I have bought many of these ideas. I have read the books and learned about the secret to manifest something good in my life, not to sweat small things and how to be a tough guy. I have attended conferences on the visualization of everything I want and podcasts on how to choose happiness.

For the most part I see the good in things and people, I look for the positive side in unpleasant situations and I see the glass half full. But, despite all that, I'm still sick.


I still have days when I feel almost all the emotions in the book, except the positive ones. And I need that to be fine.

Chronic disease cannot always be resolved with a smile.
While the culture of positivity claims to be edifying and useful, for those of us who deal with disabilities and chronic diseases, it can be harmful.

When I'm on the third day of an outbreak, when I can't do anything but cry and rock because the medications can't touch the pain, when the noise of the clock in the next room feels unbearable, and the cat The skin against My skin hurts, I find a loss.

I am dealing with the symptoms of my chronic diseases, as well as the guilt and feelings of failure associated with the ways in which I have internalised the messages of the culture of positivity.

And that way, people with chronic diseases like mine simply can't win. In a culture that demands that we face chronic diseases in an unauthorized manner, we are asked to deny our own humanity by hiding our pain with an "I can do" attitude and a smile.
The culture of positivity can often be armed as a way of blaming people with chronic diseases for their struggles, which many of us are going to internalize.

More times than I can count, I have questioned myself. Did I bring this on me? Am I having a bad perspective? If I had meditated more, would have said kinder things or had more positive thoughts, would I still be here in this bed?

When I check my Facebook and a friend posted a meme about the power of a positive attitude, or when I see my therapist and she tells me to make a list of the good things in my life, these feelings of doubt and guilt. They only reinforce.